Mi querida Hormiga,
Vivimos en tiempos peligrosos. It is now more important than ever that our dreams for you and our family take shape and are solidified in a manner consistent with our values and our hopes for you.
I’m so happy with you. And I love you deeply. But I am weary. I have not so many hopes and dreams for you. I just have a few. They are solid ones, I believe.
But I have dreams and hopes for me, too. And I’m afraid that I haven’t lived them. And that begs the question: how can I expect much from you when I haven’t even modeled living my own dreams, my own hopes? It’s a tough question and I feel like a hypocrite when I think of my expectations for you.
We always want the best for our children but I think one forgets that the best way to demonstrate our love for our children and our desire for them to be the best possible version of themselves is by modeling for them how to do it. How to live the dreams and hopes yourself.
I always said to myself, mi Patita, that a child forces you to become a better person. I saw and lived that when I was teaching: I saw students gravitate towards me when I took care of my soul and lived a contented, balanced life but I saw them flock away when I was not living according to my ideals and as a result I became acerbic, angry, and confused. Who would want to be around such a person, no? So, I am excited by this disillusionment and the confusion, though it runs deep, and more often than not renders me depressed.
It’s a call for me to live my own life as I would want you to live yours: not living for someone else to achieve their hopes and dreams, but living to achieve my own, and in doing so modeling for you what a really happy life looks like (caveat emptor: it’s not always happy and not always pretty…it’s a balance among many many desires and dreams).
So, here, in these words I pronounce my dreams and hopes for you: I want you to be a good citizen, always doing direct service and always involved in some capacity with service organizations. I want you to feel creative and have the time and space and access to outlets that will indulge your creativity. You will not be stifled. And lastly, I want you to always have a sense of your history…a sense of your family and your role within it as well as an understanding of where you are in the world in relation to its history.
And, I know that in order to best help you achieve your goals by modeling fulfillment of my own desires, I will promise to do the following: I will engage in service with 2 different service organizations in the next 3 months. I will also take steps towards making TomorrowBabies a real and going concern in the next 3 months. These things I know will make me happy…and demonstrate for you the how. Also, somewhat of an afterthought, but I’d like to learn how to draw and I’ll take acting classes in the future (something I’ve been wanting to do since 2005 and maybe since I was in my first play, Robin Hood, in elementary school).
For our family…I want to model what it is to be a good parent to you and a good partner to your Mama. I want to learn how to cook and I want to help more around the house…even though I hate constantly cleaning. I will also take a greater role in exploring the homeschooling option for you, mi Patita.
With so much love,
We at Letters To Rosie create a more connected future for parents and children by starting the conversation...now. We send parents thought-provoking questions each week and, through their responses, allow them to present their rich inner selves to their children.
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